Every married person should read this book! Actually, every person should.
Dr. Chapman has been a marriage and family counselor for quite some time. After his first 12 years of counseling, he reviewed the notes he made over those years and identified certain patterns in what his patients said about their relationships. The patterns clarified into 5 love languages – or the way individuals feel and express love.
Understanding the love language of yourself and your spouse is paramount to nurturing a healthy, loving, vibrant relationship that endures long after the honeymoon bliss gives way to reality. The love language we “speak” determines what we need in order to feel loved. Often, our love language is different than our spouse’s. So many failing relationships are the consequence of two individuals who don’t really know how to communicate their love for each other; consequently, the “fall out of love.”
I enjoyed Dr. Chapman’s stories about couples he helped. His proficiency at his trade is evident. He conveys his message clearly and succinctly. Each chapter makes its point well in an enjoyable manner, then ends with an invitation to implement that point in your own life and in your relationship.
I HIGHLY recommend that everyone read this book. One of the main reasons is that it goes beyond the obvious suspected causes of failed relationships like adultery, money issues, religious differences, etc. The book shows that even honest, well-intentioned people “fall out of love.” These are people who serve their spouse, lavish them with gifts, praise them, etc., but they do so without understanding that their spouse really needs more physical contact or quality time together.
I have friends who planned romantic weekends that flopped in frustration and anger. The reason was that the plans were based on the one’s love language, not the other’s, and the attempt missed the mark. That frustration can turn into resentment and anger, and the relationship deteriorates.
I’m explaining it rather poorly, so grab the book and read it over. I consider my relationship with my wife pretty darn good, but the information in this book will help us reach a new level.
If you are happy in your marriage and want to be happier – read this book! If your relationship is struggling, and you want it to improve – read this book! If you’re not yet married, but want a happy marriage when you reach that milestone – read this book!
Did I mention you should read this book?